PSY 230 Main Page

Chapter 15:

  Socioemotional  Development in Early Adulthood

Continuity and Discontinuity from Childhood to Adulthood

•         Adult personalities are malleable as one ages

•         Temperament involves emotions and the ability to control them

•         Temperament is linked to adjustment in adulthood, with some continuity from early childhood to adulthood

•         The connections between childhood temperament and adulthood adjustment are based on a small number of studies

•         Continuity is seen in the majority of securely attached children who enjoy secure relationships in adulthood 

•         The quality of childhood attachment relationships is linked to the quality of adult romantic relationships 

•         Other links exist between childhood attachment and relationship patterns in adulthood 

•         Not cast in stone, some individuals do revise their attachment styles as they experience relationships in their adult years

Attraction, Love, and Close Relationships

•         What motivates one to be attracted to another?

•         People actively seek out others to associate with

–        Familiarity is necessary for a close relationship

–        People seek others who are similar to themselves but opposites do attract in certain instances 

•         Physical attractiveness may not be the primary factor in establishing and maintaining a relationship

•         Standards of what is attractive are always changing over time and across cultures

•         Research does validate the “matching hypothesis”

•         Love is a very complex area of human emotion and comes in different types of expressions

•         Intimacy should occur after one is well into establishing a stable and successful identity

•         Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation

•         Intimacy’s most important aspect is commitment

•         Attempts to establish intimacy occur at the same time that one is seeking personal autonomy

•         Friendship is important throughout the life span

•         Friendship is a form of close relationship providing people with

•         Enjoyment and spontaneity

•         Acceptance

•         Trust, respect, and mutual assistance

•         Confidences shared and a sense of understanding

•         There are many functions of friendship

•         Friends and lovers are similar in many ways

•         Friendships between men and between women

•         Women have more friends than men

•         Communication is central to female relationships

•         Females do more self-disclosure than men

•         Females exchange more mutual support

•         Activities are central to male relationships

•         Men share useful information but keep a distance

•         Men seek practical solutions to their problems

•         Men are less likely to disclose personal weaknesses

•         Male relationships are more competitive

•         Romantic love, sometimes called passionate love, has strong components of sexuality and infatuation 

•         “In love” is the reason most people get married and dissolve a marriage 

•         Romantic love includes a complex set of different emotions such as anger, jealousy, desire, and joy 

•         Affectionate love, often called companionate love, is based on a deep and caring affection for another 

•         Consummate love is the strongest form of love

•         Falling out of love includes

•         The tragic collapse of a close relationship

•         One person being taken advantage of by another

•         Betrayal of trust

•         Emotions like depression or obsessive thoughts

•         Being with someone who does not return your feelings

Sternberg’s Triangle of Love 

3 types of love combine to form these patterns of love

•         Everyone feels lonely at some time in his or her  life, and some activities of contemporary society are causes of isolation

•         Married persons are less lonely than nonmarrieds

•         Many strategies exist for reducing loneliness

•         Loneliness is a chronic condition for some people  and linked to impaired physical and mental health

•         Chronic loneliness differs from the desire to be alone or have some time to oneself

•         Loneliness often occurs when life and relationships change; leaving the familiar for the unfamiliar

Marriage and Family

•         The family life cycle has 6 stages

–        Leaving home allows youths to launch into adulthood 

–        Marriage is the uniting of two entire family systems 

–        Becoming parents creates new problems and requires lots of adjustments 

–        Parenting can be very challenging when adolescents are seeking autonomy and identity 

–        The family at midlife discovers new freedoms 

–        The family in later life is a time of adaptation

–        A stable marriage was the endpoint in adult development until about 1930 when personal fulfillment became a competing goal

–        Marriage in the United States

–        A tradition, but with about 50% ending in divorce

–        Young adults have more expectations from marriage and their partners

–        Adults are delaying marriage

–        Adult marriages are not lasting as long

–        Traits sought in potential marriage partners vary across cultures

–        Chastity is a factor in some Middle East and Asian cultures

–        Domesticity is valued in some African and South American cultures

–        Religion is a factor in many cultures

–        Cross-culturally

–        Scandinavians marry later than Eastern Europeans

–        Cohabitation is popular in Scandinavian countries, while Japanese singles prefer living with parents

–        High, unrealistic marital expectations are linked to dissatisfaction and underlie high U.S. divorce rates

–        Numerous myths about marriage are thought to be the basis of unrealistic expectations

–        Gottman identified 7 main principles that determine whether a marriage will work or not

–        There are many benefits to having a good marriage

–        Overall, women are more expressive and affectionate than men in marriage

–        Successful parenting requires many skills and entails many emotional demands

–        Individual needs and expectations have created many myths about parenting

–        Child-rearing practices (desirable/undesirable) tend to pass on from one generation to the next

–        Today’s parenting roles are changing in response to changing marriage and family patterns

–        Interest in careers has postponed parenthood for many

The Diversity of Adult Lifestyles  

•         Almost 50% of all U.S. households are headed by singles, some by choice and others by circumstances

•         Singlehood

–        Has many myths and stereotypes

–        Has its advantages and disadvantages

•         Some adults choose to never marry but may still desire to have children

•         Many singles feel pressure from a marriage-oriented society to settle down and get married

•         Cohabitation

–        Is more acceptable in today’s society

–        Has its advantages and disadvantages

–        Tends to be short-lived

–        Involves relationships that tend to be more equal than those between husbands and wives 

•         Whether cohabitation is a harm or help toward  later marital quality is controversial

•         There are many reasons why one would choose to cohabitate

•         Divorce rates have increased dramatically in all socioeconomic groups, from 2% in 1950 to 10% in 2002 

•         Divorce rates are higher in disadvantaged groups 

•         Adults experience change, stress, and difficulties during and after a divorce  

•         Separated and divorced persons are more likely to show physical and psychological impairments 

•         Successful strategies exist for dealing with changes from divorce and their challenges

•         Remarried couples face many changes and challenges

•         Custodial and noncustodial parenting issues

•         Negotiating rules for reconstituted families and stepfamilies

•         Many remarriages occur to reduce loneliness and improve financial circumstances

•         Negative behaviors from earlier marriages may carry over into the remarriage

•         Strategies are available to help with remarriage stresses

•         Gay and lesbian relationships

–        Are similar to heterosexual relationships in satisfactions and conflicts

–        Have many misconceptions about them, including role definitions

–        Are easier to dissolve than heterosexual marriages

–        Raise concerns in some people about their influence as parents 

•         Lesbian couples place a high priority on equality in their relationships

Gender,Relationships, and Self-Development 

•         Women

–        Need to be self-motivated and maintain their competency in relationships

–        Cite lack of communication much more often than men as a cause of divorce

–        See conversation as interaction or involvement,  while men see it as a source of information

–        See listening as a way to show care and interest

•         Men

–        Have roles that are contradictory and inconsistent

–        Live 8 to 10 years less than women (on average)

–        Are expected to be dominant in relationships with women, seeing them in physical terms and as inferior

–        Often have too little interaction with their fathers

–        Need to reconstruct their masculinity in more positive ways, eliminating cultural stereotyping